What works in effective school cultures is...

What works in effective school cultures is 'tough love' that allows kids (and their parents) think they want or need.

It is a sense of genuine affection built on mutual respect. It is unconditional love that accepts people as they are, finds what's right in each person, sees what the other person can become, and never gives up.

(p. 122 in "Don't Teach the Canaries Not to Sing: Creating a School Culture That Boosts Achievement" by Robert D. Ramsey)

My two favorite phrases in this quote - mutual respect and  never gives up.